lulu, my love

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 21:41:14 GMT

so i made the cake.
but i havent tasted it.
im waiting for la mama to come home and give it a try

music is a lovely tool isn't it.
for whatever mood you are in it just enhances it.
sad, listen to sad music and you can feel like there is someone out there who knows what you're feeling
happy, listen to something upbeat and you feel there is hope
mad, listen to something. well, mad. and chances are you'll feel better

i really do write about some pretty pointless shit.

im not as expressive as i felt yesterday but im a little less lazy
4 days until i head back to the school that seems to never end.

maybe one day you will understand that i want nothing from you but to sweetly hold your hand

im just not sure anymore.

my cat went bye bye today.
funny how yesterday im writing about how much i love my dog
and i call my mum this morning and she tells me that my cat is no longer with us.
its messed up
and im sad but im trying not to show it.
i hope someone reads this one day.
one day.

bah bah black sheep, new year.

Wed, 02 Jan 2008 04:37:39 GMT

so.
this is the new year and Im starting too trying to write this stuff down.
the stuff in the place that i call my brain/mind/soul.
Im hoping it will help, help with what im not sure
being heard , except i think i only have one actual person who might read this.
lawnah, if you didnt know that this was mee , it is the girl you had a 3 hour coffee with in mid december.
haha. funny.
catching up with someone you haven't seen in a very long time is a very lovely thing i think.
i miss it, you know old friend. new friends. i only seem to have inbetweens, i suppose
i suppose i dont really make much sense sometimes either.
is is sad that about 2 months ago iwas beggin for the lovelyness of winter and now i just want it to go awwwwayayayayay.
summer is really my calling it think that i wasnt sure of that until this year.
i wish i was one of those people who know all the tricks and trades to lj, facebook, and all that junk but i really do not
maybe one day i will be that lucky.

tomorrow i plan on baking.
a cake. one from a movie. i hope its that good.
i think i forget how much i love my dog sometimes.
its a wonderful thing to have a dog. that loya. no boundries love from something who just is.
someone (yes i refer to my pup as a someone) who just enjoys the silly toys you give them and gives affection without reservation.

i plan to write a book you know.
what about i know, but will not disclose here.
i hope maybe one day people will read it and it will help them
isnt that what everyone really wants. to help someone. give someone something.
thats what i plan to do with my life.
wanted to be a doctor. but i hate science.
wanted to be a writer. but i guess i can do that on the side.
wanted to be a lawyer, and i think i might just do that.
but thats not my dream.
my dream. a photojournalist international development worker.
what a title huh?

some people i know just want to make money.
i hope im not like that one day.
which is why my new years resolution this year is to save as much money as ai possibly can.
and buy some of my dreams with it.
sounds wierd right? to buy a dream
but my dream is to own..
1. a camera that can capture what human eyes can see
2. a record player

a lot of my dreams require me to make some rupies (haha connor?)
but i think one day i will make it there.
my dream is to live a certain lifestyle, couldnt explain what it is , but ill work to that.

i think thats a good start.
what do you think?

thoughts of the wannabe deutsch

lulu, my love

bah bah black sheep, new year.